Protecting Penis Health After a Vasectomy – Pre-Op Advice and Tips

There comes a point in a man’s life where perhaps he has had all the children he wants to have – or maybe he is sure that kids are just not on the table for him – and he starts kicking around the idea of under “going the knife.” While a vasectomy may seem like a pretty straightforward procedure, it certainly isn’t something to be taken lightly. See what other men are wondering about the procedure and learn the risks, benefits and how to ensure adequate penis care, both pre- and post-vasectomy.

So, it’s 100% effective, right?

As the old saying goes, nothing in this world is guaranteed except death and taxes, and a vasectomy falls into the category of almost being a sure thing. The fact of the matter is, about 0.2% (or 2 out of 1000) of men who have undergone the procedure experience ongoing fertility, even several months after the surgery has been completed. This occurs either because of human error during surgery, or because the cut ends actually reconnect and heal themselves after the procedure has been done. Additionally, some men (1 in 2000) have a spontaneous recurrence of fertility months or even years after the procedure proved them sterile. All men should get a semen test several months after the procedure to ensure that it worked – men who are worried about spontaneous recurrence of fertility can get their semen tested at any time to ensure sterility has remained, though it is very rare after a negative test. It is also important to know that it takes a while for a man to completely go through his stores of semen in the body, therefore, condoms should be used for a few months after the procedure until that negative test has been confirmed by a doctor.

Is it permanent? What if my wife changes her mind about kids?

If there is even the slightest thought that kids could be in the future, a delay on the big V should be strongly considered. Though the procedure can occasionally be reversed years later, the surgery to reinstate fertility is only roughly 50% successful. Therefore, most doctors recommend a man consider it a permanent procedure.

What are the risks?

Breathe a sigh of relief, guys, there are typically no reported changes to a man’s sex drive, erectile strength, orgasm, or ejaculation after the procedure. The biggest risk tends to be men ditching the rubbers too soon after the procedure, leading to an unwanted pregnancy. Of course, any surgery comes with risk; however, serious complications occur in less than 1% of vasectomies.

Does it hurt?

Most men find the procedure to be mildly uncomfortable, while some men indicate zero pain at all. Of course, everybody reacts to anesthetic and surgical procedures differently, so results vary for each man. Healing is generally quick, and most men require nothing more than an over the counter medication for pain or swelling.

A guy can go condom-free after a vasectomy, right?

A man in a monogamous, long-term relationship where both partners have been screened for sexually transmitted infections can finally ditch those condoms. However, a vasectomy does not protect either partner from infections, so if a guy has multiple partners, he needs to keep the condoms handy.

Keeping the penis healthy

Regardless of a man’s surgery plans, he needs to keep the penis healthy to maintain the best possible sex life. One important way to do this is by stepping up the hygiene routine – as excessive bacteria or yeast can lead to unpleasant infections and odors. After exiting the shower, a man should use a penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) full of essential vitamins and nutrients, including the bacteria-busting vitamin A to cut back on unpleasant odors, as well as natural emollients to support healthy, resilient and responsive penile skin.

What Part Does Sex Play in Casual Relationships?

I received a wonderful email last week raising a question about the definition of ‘casual relationship’ opposed to ‘serious relationship’. I have some thoughts on this but I would love to throw this out to all of you for your thoughts as well.

The person who sent the question thought that, for her, a casual relationship becomes a serious relationship when sex comes into play. The person she was having the conversation with on this topic, a male, suggested that even casual relationships could be sexual.

I’m going to agree with both and I think what it comes down to is not so much the definition of ‘relationship’ but more the definition of ‘sex’. Sex can be present in casual relationships though, for many, this might be considered more something a man would do rather than a woman. The argument here is often that while sex for a man can be purely a physical act, for a woman sex is always emotional. The truth about this is that, I believe, that sex can be purely physical for a woman as well.

On the contrary though, sex in a serious relationship is more likely to be an emotional act for both people as this now becomes less about satisfying a selfish physical need for sex and more of a representation of one person’s love and care for another by which sex becomes more a selfless act of pleasing another person.

So what then is the definition of ‘relationship’? This one sent me scurrying to the dictionary which said, amongst other things, that “relationship is an emotional connection between people, sometimes involving sexual relations”. Obviously there can be many kinds of relationships between people but I guess we most often think of relationship as some intimate connection between two people and if this is serious then indeed there may be a sexual connection as well though not necessarily.

So, as my reader also suggested, “there is no answer to this, because of our sexual biases (or desires)”, but a topic that is well worthwhile opening up for discussion.

What do you think?

If you would like to enter into this conversation please add your comments via the link at the bottom of my blog.

So until next time – Relate with Love

Lidy Seysener

Are You Cursing Your Sex Life?

“Our sex life is terrible.”

“My wife is draining the life out of me by refusing me all the time.”

“It would be just fine with me if we never had sex again.”

“How can I not feel like crap when he never desires me?”

“All he cares about is sex, sex, sex.”

Variations of these complaints come across my inbox every day. I understand.

And yet…

It occurs to me that sometimes the words I’m seeing in my inbox or hearing from someone’s mouth have been rehearsed. Again. And again.

Have you ever been so angry/hurt/disappointed that you found yourself stewing over your mate’s faults? Have you felt that you would find relief by somehow articulating just how bad it really is? In fact, you can find yourself blind to all that is good and meditate on all that is bad, crappy, sexless.

It’s easy to do.

And you are welcome to do it.

However, words carry power.

Words stir up our heart in a certain direction.

Words galvanize the meaning we give to experiences.

Really – we could just as easily speak different words, rearrange our focus, and come up with different meaning about the issues we face.

We can’t change the past, but we can change the meaning we give to past events, and transform our reality.

But what do “blessing” and “cursing” really mean?

There are dictionary definitions for these terms, but for our purpose I’m going to define the words like this:

  • Bless – verb: to release life, happiness, healing and wholeness to a situation or person, more specifically, to release a situation or a person to the very will of God.
  • Curse – verb: to speak death, misery, sickness, or human judgment, against a situation or person.

What we often don’t realize is that when we take it upon ourselves to be the releaser of the curse, we take that situation out of God’s hands and into our own.

God is a curse breaker. His ways are infinitely above ours.

Here’s the rub:

Very often “calling it like we see it,” is nothing more than cursing cloaked as observation.

Faith does not call it like it is. Faith calls those things that are NOT as though they were.

This is as true in our sex life as anywhere.

So, here is your mission, should you choose to accept it:

Stop cursing your sex life.

Stop pointing out to yourself all this is wrong with your mate, or even your self.

Call forth what you’d like to see, what you believe is truly the highest plan for your marriage.

It’s impossible to do so without an accompanying feeling of gratitude.

Let’s give examples from above.

Instead of,

“Our sex life is terrible.”

Say, feel and lay hold of – “Our sex life is turning around, even when I can’t see how!”

Instead of,

“My wife is draining the life out of me by refusing me all the time.”

Say, feel and be open to:

“Even though I’ve taken things personally in the past, I am seeing how to become more and more attractive to my wife.”

“All these issues are part of our success story.”

“I love that woman and she loves me.”

You get the idea.

I am not saying this will be easy.

Not saying you won’t feel like a liar.

But even if you WERE lying, did you know that a lie heard often enough becomes believed as truth? Why not “brainwash” yourself with life-giving thoughts?

For just 2 weeks, ask for your eyes to be opened to how often you release the curse.

Make the decision to release blessing.

I had to do this when my husband came home from the Gulf. After the first month, the adjustment to each other was suddenly unbelievably awkward.

I’ll talk more about that another time.

The good news is, we are stronger than ever, and you can be too.